Driving Test Examiner Gifts

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

Driving Testing.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Caution, Student Self-Driver

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

Former Auto Crash Dummy. Replaced By Driverless Car.

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

"Don't let this one take any cars out for a test-drive!"

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

"I found this hidden under his mattress."

"Accelerate forward into that brick wall."

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!

How was my emergency stop?

'Well? Did you pass?'

"You'd think they'd at least offer health insurance with this job."

'It doesn't work...'

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

"... Have you passed?... Well, just let me move these five traffic violation tickets that you picked up, out of the way and I'll check your score."

"She only comes in to try out the heated seats."

'To be honest, the only reason I don't leave her is because she takes my penalty points on her licence.'

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."

"I don't care about the test. Put the bloody breaks on!"

Driving Test Centre: Letters and Bribes.

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

'Morning Mr Walker, remember me? You sacked me last month...'

Seatbelt Use

"I wouldn't worry about it -- this is marketing's headache."

'Good morning, Mr Herbert. If my face seems familiar, it's because yesterday you gave me 'out LBW' when I was at least a foot outside the leg stump. Shall we start your test?'

Safety dummies parents with child 'And this is our little accident'

'How do you spell 'failed'?'

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'