Driver's License Collector Gifts

'And finally,concerning being an organ donor, well...you don't really have a choice.'

"Make a lot of money."

"Nuts to you, too."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"So why do you think it's so hard to let others in?"

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized we need a vacation.'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"Shoulder work ahead"

Baby in Trunk.

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

'What do you mean you've misplace the keys?'

'What do you mean you lost the keys?'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.

The whole world goes green. Resulting in thousands and thousands of traffic accidents at intersections everywhere.

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'Is this what you're looking for?'

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

Traffic Sign

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

"So tell me what's your sign?"

'Damn, so close!'

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

Climb to Safety in Case of Alien Invasion

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!