Drink Decorator T-Shirts

"I can't decide between a little umbrella and an olive on a sword."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

Face Painting.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"I'm sick of the same old thing. How about frosting and sprinkles?"

'Quick, press control Z!'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

Redecorating Easter Island.

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

Early cave painters

Pollock Painting Company

"Love your feng shui!"