Dressage Fan Gifts

Dressage

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

Rocking Horse

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

"It's only until Dad gets his stall built."

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

Pantomime dame: 'Has anyone seen my successful TV and film career?' Audience: 'It's behind you!'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

The Horse Races

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

"You remember Champ. . ."

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

'How many times have I told you to not call while I'm in the middle of a competition?'

"They play with our shoes - we'll play with theirs."

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

'In and out! In and out! Get it right ponies because in the real event you also have a human to look after!'

A horse driving a sports car tows an Amish buggy.

A cat is a dog in drag...'Bad dog!'

The Epsom Derby - Beer Stall

'I'm going to take a wild guess and say 'dressage'.'

Dame Edna Everage

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

'Dressage?! But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

Doesn't he seem really stiff?

"I hate dressage: executing those complex steps in front of an audience is so overwhelming..."

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

'That's it Robert, this fancy dress thing has finally gone too far!'

At least he died with his boobs on

'He's showing off his muscles again! Why do the mares find the eventing guys so fascinating?!'

'Horse Play' 'We never mastered the choreography part of freestyle dressage, but we still wanted to have a role in the competition.'

The real flower-show

"Hey! Where's our regular driver?"