Dream Investor T-Shirts

'I should warn you that results may vary concerning any wishes about the stock market.'

Unreal Estate Investing

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"But in my fantasy business league I'm making millions."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

I have a dream.

The church of our lady of wall street.

'I'd like to invest in some young companies.'

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Business plan.

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

To err is human, but to have your stocks recover from a plummet is divine.

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

"Want to put the house on the market so we clean it?"

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

Burying cash. 'You misunderstand when I said put your money in land.'

How to live on 25 cents a week allowance.

'It was love at first sight!'

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

TRUMP

"But my real dream is gettin' paid lotsa money for doin' nothin'."

'I'm glad the American Dream is still alive and well somewhere.'