Dramatic Patient Gifts

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'Is there a fireman in the house?'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Brain surgery, right?'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

John Wayne

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"We are in the bear's house. Goldilocks has just eaten a bowl of porridge. Papa Bear enters."

Operation/Grim Reaper

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

'You can't sue. If you hadn't put the surgical gown on backwards, we would not have removed the wrong organ.'

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'