Draft Dodger T-Shirts

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

'That's it, Darlene -- conserve your energy for the final lap! Stay right in her draft!'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

How lazy people decide what to eat

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

"Make up your mind - will you or won't you?"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"The answer is NO!"

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"I'm the designated driver."

Procrastinator's Leap.

Bring your dog to work day - let someone else make the big decisions.

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

"Heads we go with the analytics. Tails we don't."

'Forget the test Mrs. Winslow. Let's send out for pizza!'

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

"How's your substitute history teacher, Baldo?"

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

As the summer drew to a close, Mrs. Bank's back-to-school nightmares progressed from a class of her worst students, to a class of their parents.

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

"Just you wait 'till your father comes home!"

"No, you may not request a change of venue."

"I've never been in there. Most of my down-time is spent in the Principal's office."

"I didn't make the Dean's list, but I made the Principal's list."

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'