Dracula Admirer Pillows

'Oh no, not another blood sample.'

Vampire's postman.

Vampire Generation Gap

Dracula's false teeth

(Can't) Count Dracula.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Transylvanian backpackers.

UK border controls relaxed.

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Czarcasm

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"He gets easily abstracted."

Scarecrows guarding a field

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

Nesting dolls stranded on an island send out nesting bottles with messages in each of them.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"A haand gel...!?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Hot cross buns

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"