Count Dracula Admirer Pillows

"Got Blood?"

"Dang it! Honey, this whole batch of type B positive has gone sour!"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Transylvanian backpackers.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"He gets easily abstracted."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

Dreams I have had...

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Meowlzebub

Halloween Selfie

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

Tristan and Isolde

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Fear of Flying Seminar

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

A dog whose nose is a gun.

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"The fancy dress store ran out of crutches."

Candy Corn Dracula

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Vampire Umbrella

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

"Something nocturnal."

"And now I will attempt the same feat but without insurance."

"Ok, it got weird while you were a wolf."

Cannon crossing sign for tightrope walker.