Count Dracula Admirer Pillows

"Got Blood?"

"Dang it! Honey, this whole batch of type B positive has gone sour!"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"He gets easily abstracted."

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

Dreams I have had...

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Halloween Selfie

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

Meowlzebub

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Tristan and Isolde

Fear of Flying Seminar

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

Fly Tightrope walker

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Candy Corn Dracula

"The fancy dress store ran out of crutches."

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

Vampire Umbrella

A dog whose nose is a gun.

"And now I will attempt the same feat but without insurance."

"Something nocturnal."

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'