Downward Spiral Survivor Gifts

"I don't know about you, but it feels like my life is on a downward trend."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Daddy's taking him to the woodshed, again!"

'We're in a hurry.'

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

"The thing with tiny kitchens is it's all about stacking, patience and resenting all your previous life choices."

The corner that Spring's around

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

Terms and Conditions

Man digging a path to his dog's kennel through the snow.

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

'This day goes from bad to worse.'

'BRRRR. Why is it taking so long to get warm?'

Subway rider holds onto man's tie.

Heating costs.

'I dunno, I've never stayed up long enough to find out.'

'I hate Mondays!'

injured skier says medicinal brandy is bad

"Ok one last chance - and don't try and tell me it's salt again."

Tell you what --- Why don't you transfer me back to the recording.

Doctor caring for an eskimo

"I have room for one ladies' size 4, or a very supple 6."

Clown Phobia

Finally the government stepped in and issued a back-to-work order for everyone except Bob.