Downward Spiral Survivor Pillows

"I don't know about you, but it feels like my life is on a downward trend."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"The trees are laughing at us."

'We're in a hurry.'

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

"The thing with tiny kitchens is it's all about stacking, patience and resenting all your previous life choices."

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

The corner that Spring's around

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

Man digging a path to his dog's kennel through the snow.

Terms and Conditions

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

'This day goes from bad to worse.'

'BRRRR. Why is it taking so long to get warm?'

Subway rider holds onto man's tie.

'I dunno, I've never stayed up long enough to find out.'

Heating costs.

"Ok one last chance - and don't try and tell me it's salt again."

'I hate Mondays!'

injured skier says medicinal brandy is bad

Doctor caring for an eskimo

"I have room for one ladies' size 4, or a very supple 6."

"Oh, I'm feeling alright. My post holiday elation is cancelling out my seasonal affective disorder."

Clown Phobia

'Women? No, I joined up to forget fifteen men, the English Rugby team.'