Downsizing Dodger Pillows

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Fear of news.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

Musical Chairs...

"My doctor thinks I should lose weight but everyone at the doughnut shop said she's crazy."

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

We'll pass on the entrees...

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

Reasons to avoid training No 234 - "I was on my way to the gym but then I heard that the DOW JONES had fallen 2.5%."

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

'That's it, Darlene -- conserve your energy for the final lap! Stay right in her draft!'

"No, I'm not going to work. I sent my computer to work for me. The screen has a photo of my face, so people will think it's me."

'I see you are cutting back on your salt intake.'

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

What she said/What he heard...

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

'We're out of cereal!'

"Brian's New Year's resolution is to spend more time on the treadmill."

Pulling a Sickie.

"I am sticking to the diet. This is just a fat jumper."

"We could save money by turning the TV off every time they mention Boris."

Traders lift 'Up' 'Down' 'Mixed'

"I ate all the wrong things today."