Deficit Dodger Pillows

'Wow! Look at the speed of his cuts!'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Scapegoat of the Year

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

Hear me, Graduates!

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Kicking The Habit

'So, who's first?'

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

"I can help you get your finances back in shape – you've just got to believe in me."

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

You've been extending Randy credit to buy food and drinks? You've no right! That's thousands of dollars. Have you any idea what that … Armstrong? Defibrillator. C'mon, really. It's not that bad. Okay, fine, make a show of it. Defibrillator! And a coroner.

Tonight's Lecture: Your share of the national debt. That explains my credit rating.

'Money doesn't have wings, feet or wings. My dad says that nevertheless, it disappears with the speed of light.'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

Gone for Broke College

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

'Another hike in college tuition! The costs are already killing my folks!'

And your repayment period starts...Now!