Downsizing Cynic Gifts

'Sorry I had to keep you on hold for so long Sir. The reorganization caused an appreciable decrease of personnel cost and we have to adapt to the new circumstances.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Let's get organized

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Second hand furniture.

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"I see the downsizing continues."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

Yard Sale

"Not to mention the park view."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

'I've misplaced everything.'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.