Double Life Enthusiast Gifts

'I see you've created an online altar ego.'

'Fred leads a double life, and I can't stand either one of them!'

Reach for the Star.

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

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Gates of heaven

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Post-psychoanalysis

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'