Dot-com-worker Gifts

"Dot com, dot go, now I got - no dough."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Off Duty.

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'A word in my office Jones.'

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

The boss yells at me whenever I try to think outside the box! He's giving you some constrictive criticism!

Corporate Cafeteria. I don't care how many toppings you pizza has --- eating it is not multitasking!

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.