Doorway Dreamer Gifts

Emergency exit into Space

"How long will it take to widen this door?"

Janus faced

Door

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

A Bedroom In The Middle Of Being Redecorated.

I love what you've done with your hare.

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Go ahead,ask me which way is north.'

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"Just imagine this room fully carpeted with multi-level platforms and cubbies."

Open-Plan Psychiatry

'You've never experienced the Amazon...it's a jungle.'

Employee asleep with his head in the 'out' box.

Desk Request

It's nice, but we were hoping for something unfurnished.

"I told you that TV would be too big for this room."

"Be honest...did you actually get any paint on the living room walls?"

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

Open entrance door to find exit door directly behind it.

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

Exec Has His Whole Life At His Desk

'I was looking for tile floors and more closet space, let's keep looking.'

"This is a great little vase! and now it makes me thing we should redo the living room."

"Yes, I did say I wanted a TV mounted on the wall. But, I was referring to a new, light flat screen."

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

'It's not exactly the Hamptons, but with a little work it could be livable.'

A Victorian lion chair is given a tail.

"When the mist clears, turn right."