Door-to-door Experience Survivor Pillows

Skip this one - They have a no solicitors sign.

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Sheltering in place.

Nonsense Poem

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

Well, I finished my summer reading list – now what?

COVID Devotion

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

"It's my support group for Zoom fatigue syndrome."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

Do not feed the clerks.

Covid-19 Caution

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Danger Noodle tho bored

'It's OK, we all make mistakes. The important thing is that you learn to cover your tracks.'

"Help, I'm being micro managed."

'Excuse me, but is there any chance of finding me a decaffeinated clerk?'

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

"The weight of all the paperwork made my desk fall through the floor. This might be a sign that I need to go paperless."

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

"Shall we have 'Glorious B****rds' next"

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'