Door-to-door Experience Survivor Pillows

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Nonsense Poem

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

Sheltering in place.

COVID Devotion

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

"It's my support group for Zoom fatigue syndrome."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

Danger Noodle tho bored

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Covid-19 Caution

Do not feed the clerks.

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

'It's OK, we all make mistakes. The important thing is that you learn to cover your tracks.'

"Help, I'm being micro managed."

'Excuse me, but is there any chance of finding me a decaffeinated clerk?'

"Shall we have 'Glorious B****rds' next"

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

"The weight of all the paperwork made my desk fall through the floor. This might be a sign that I need to go paperless."

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.