Door-to-door Champion Pillows

"Would you like to buy a candy bar to help us raise money for our social security."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

InOutYada Yada.

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

"He'll talk you to death."

"Shhh! Pretend we're not home."

"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

'Of course I'm tired-it's no picnic selling baby elephants door to door y'know!'

One more ring andBbob would set off the Solicitor Glove.

"Oh, yes—do come in!"

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

Trophies of debt collector's heads.

'It's another canvasser dear'

"I've been to college, but I'm selling magazines to pay off my student loans."

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

"He finds coping with the doorstep rejection quite hard."

'Could you come back next week and demonstrate it yet again?'

At Death's Door.

"Line one is on line two..."

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat's Witness. (Published previously on March 18, 2008.)

"Hello Ma'am! Have you ever looked at other shark owners and thought 'Why not me?'..."

No Soliciting

"Underpaid, overworked, stressed and exhausted... still enough of my problems, what can I do for you?"

"Pencil me in for Thursday Miss Watts"

"Come on, you can get up. Just think about that nice soft swivel chair down at the office."

The Mormons

'Do you want the Head of the house or Dad?'

Death of a Salesman...

College graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door.

"I'm trying to buy online what I see in your store, and you don't even offer free wifi!"

Fair Warning.

"Sorry, but I never buy anything from, 'cold callers'."

Skip this one - They have a no solicitors sign.

Bibles r us.