Door-to-door Adventures Pillows

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"He'll talk you to death."

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

The Insiders

"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"

"Would you like to buy a candy bar to help us raise money for our social security."

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

'Ahhh...Garcon!...There's a tail light in, la roadkill!'

Making Things Pleasant.

"Oh, yes—do come in!"

'It's another canvasser dear'

Last year, Dad picked a damp cave for us to hibernate in! This year, you're in charge Darling: find us a dry cave...

"I've been to college, but I'm selling magazines to pay off my student loans."

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

'Could you come back next week and demonstrate it yet again?'

The Mormons

'Do you want the Head of the house or Dad?'

Metal Detectors on Treasure Island

"Hello Ma'am! Have you ever looked at other shark owners and thought 'Why not me?'..."

"Not selling anything! They all say that."

"Ding dong ditch is fun, but it's better to watch their reactions when you pretend to be soliciting."

Bibles r us.

Guard dog behind front door.

Beware of the Consumer.

Road Buddies

Glue Salesman

Roy's no soliciting signs.

'What's more - if you transfer from your present religion today, you'll qualify for our special introductory offer of forgiveness of all sins and guaranteed everlasting life.'

The vaccum salesman.

'I'm sorry, but I never buy anything from 'cold callers'.'

'Wait a minute - a spiritually uplifting all over body-rub, are you guys - Jojobas witnesses?'

'Hi! Love your gag sign on the gate! I sell gag signs. How about a few more?'