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Jumpin' Jehoshaphat's Witness. (Published previously on March 18, 2008.)

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"He'll talk you to death."

The Insiders

"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

"Would you like to buy a candy bar to help us raise money for our social security."

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

Making Things Pleasant.

'Ahhh...Garcon!...There's a tail light in, la roadkill!'

"Oh, yes—do come in!"

'It's another canvasser dear'

Last year, Dad picked a damp cave for us to hibernate in! This year, you're in charge Darling: find us a dry cave...

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

"I've been to college, but I'm selling magazines to pay off my student loans."

'Could you come back next week and demonstrate it yet again?'

Metal Detectors on Treasure Island

"Hello Ma'am! Have you ever looked at other shark owners and thought 'Why not me?'..."

The Mormons

'Do you want the Head of the house or Dad?'

Death of a Salesman...

Skip this one - They have a no solicitors sign.

Beware of the Consumer.

"Not selling anything! They all say that."

Bibles r us.

"Ding dong ditch is fun, but it's better to watch their reactions when you pretend to be soliciting."

Guard dog behind front door.

Road Buddies

"Who rang that bell?"

Glue Salesman

'What's more - if you transfer from your present religion today, you'll qualify for our special introductory offer of forgiveness of all sins and guaranteed everlasting life.'

Roy's no soliciting signs.

The vaccum salesman.

'Wait a minute - a spiritually uplifting all over body-rub, are you guys - Jojobas witnesses?'

'Hi! Love your gag sign on the gate! I sell gag signs. How about a few more?'