Door Devotee T-Shirts

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

You're the olive in my martini

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

Arms race - USA and Russia.

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

"Spoiler alert...Z."

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

Thesaurus Publishing: In a Meeting, Gathering, Conference, Forum, Discussion.

Thesaurus Publishing: Push, Shove, Thrust, Nudge.

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

Samuel Johnson

'I've spent the last 20 years modernising the house and now you say it looks old-fashioned!'

"My one regret is that I didn't spend more quality time with my office."

Thesaurus Editor, Overseer, Corrector, Improver, Modifier.

Sir Edmund Hillary Arriving Home To His Third Floor Apartment

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

War and Peace

'The larrikin was shirty because his crowdy wasn't flyless.'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Give Thanks.

Turning with mathematical precision.

"I like your slavish attention to detail."