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"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"Well no, Ed. Jonah's fish probably wasn't as big as the one you caught in the state fishing tournament."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Croak something romantic, will ya?"

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

"Why have you come over here?"

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

Thank you for visiting us again Son... Can I still call you Son? You are so handsome now...

Autumn Dog

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

'He was born to the sea.'

"Well, there's the stick. One of us is going to have to get it."

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

Baroque

Duckumentary: 'QUACK!'

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

What's on? A duckumentary.

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

"My business plan? Well, all my friends are addicted, so if I can get access to potatoes and set up a deep fryer, I'll be rich!"

'Don't worry Marty! All we have to do is sit still and look stupid for a couple of hours . . . like when we watched 'Pulp Fiction'.'

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

'You'll get over it, Carrutheres - sometimes we all feel like we're being nibbled to death by ducks!'

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