Donut Shop Worker Gifts

'I got it last Christmas. You know, most people aren't aware Chia Pet makes a hair replacement system.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

Cafe Burns.

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

National Coffee Day

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

How About Serving Us For a Change

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'Can I get a box for this?'

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

The Deli Llama

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"I know nobody here works with each other, but it seems like morale is down."

Biocafeteraologist

'Where did you get the meat slicer? France.'

"Nothing says butter - like something from the udder."

'The good news is I'm down to one latte a day.'

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

Have you heard of a celebrity roast, Lance? The closest I ever came to a celebrity roast was the time I had a roast beef in a deli and Henny Youngman walked in.

"Don't think you can just put the on the costume and replace Jeff."

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.