Donut Critic Gifts

With the exception of the cold coffee and poor selection of donuts, I think the meeting went well.

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Would you like to see the markup?"

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

'If you only learn one thing while you're here kid, remember, the cherry filled ones are mine!'

"The cookies are always stale."

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"Tell the staff that I wanted to increase their salary, but that box of donuts I purchased for the break room hurt us financially."

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

Doughnut Criminals

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"If you represent special interests, I can seat you immediately."

'Who needs sticky-notes when you've just eaten 6 jelly doughnuts.'

'Sometimes I like to dunk mine in a nice hot cup of coffee.'

'Is there a money back guarantee if the burrito isn't as big as your head?'

"If you're really worried about your weight, hu don't you eat a donut hole instead of a donut whole?"

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

'You are quite right, the soup is cold.'

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

Wild Bears Roam Population Centers In Search Of Food.

"It's a generally positive report with a few disturbing elements...much like the tapioca pudding in the cafeteria."