Domestic Negotiation Expert Gifts

'Hugh, you know leaving the toilet seat up violates our prenuptial agreement.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

She - Interpreter - He.

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"O.K., if you put it that way."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

"Well now that you all have put in your 2p, I'd like to put in my 52%"

'My final offer.'

'Sir, for Heavens' sake, stop screaming! It's just Mr Winkleberger asking for a raise!'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."