Domestic Navigator Gifts

'I'm getting Russ a GPS unit so he won't get lost trying to find the washing machine,vacuum cleaner, stove...'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

The Life of Pi

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"I am not asking for directions."

'She'll never look for me here.'

Titanic: How's my steering.

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

Battery Lighthouse

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"This translation app isn't working."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"You are here"

Set sail

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"Your Majesty, my voyage will not only forge a new route to the spices of the East but also create over three thousand new jobs."

Rowing machine on a river.

"According to the charts, it should be clear sailing after this."

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'