Domestic Issue Pillows

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Balancing work and family

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"I had to skip my workout."

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Ironing day.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Always Compatible