Domestic Issues Resolution Pillows

'I am not putting a foot in there until you do something about those bed bugs!'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'She'll never look for me here.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

Always Compatible

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

Jason and the Aga notes.

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

"It comes with three programs! Single, married and kids!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

Man of steel wool.

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

"Sloth is a sin."

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

Husband does the housework

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

'I didn't even know she was angry until she started shooting.'

Human Dust Buster