Domestic Humor Buff Gifts

Lazy man with 'How's my idling?' sign.

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"Mulch madness"

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

Yard Sale

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"But I use all of them!"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"The blow drier is broken."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'