Domestic Harmony Navigator Pillows

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Separation Anxiety

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

A woman's work is never done!

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

Looks like I do dishes again.

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

Magic Carpet Cleaning

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

Blanket Pull

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

'Wait, put that back where it was. Let's see how the scratching post looks in this corner.'

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

"I apologize for the mess."

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

Theirs and Theirs

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"