Domestic Happiness Champions Gifts

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

"The groceries are in the car."

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

"Is there something wrong with the TV focus?"

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

"Just empty it."

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is serious. We have now fallen behind Japan in the manufacture of American flags."

"I guess my wild days are behind me."

This copyright graffiti an't comin' off,

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

'Herbert just loves to help with the dishes.'

Santa Claus Falls Victim to Global Warming

'He makes his own gin too.'

"I'm staying in my nightie until 1997."

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"And do you promise never to fight over the thermostat setting?"

My dad loves his lawn.

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

"I'm sorry-I'm not in the mood for whatever you're in the mood for."

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

'When he finally exhausts his vocabularly that's when I call the plumber.'

"That's a peaceful transfer of power."