Domestic Happiness Champions T-Shirts

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

"The groceries are in the car."

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

"Is there something wrong with the TV focus?"

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

"Just empty it."

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

This copyright graffiti an't comin' off,

"I guess my wild days are behind me."

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is serious. We have now fallen behind Japan in the manufacture of American flags."

'How about we get this closet organizer as a together gift?'

'Herbert just loves to help with the dishes.'

Santa Claus Falls Victim to Global Warming

"I'm staying in my nightie until 1997."

'He makes his own gin too.'

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"I'm sorry-I'm not in the mood for whatever you're in the mood for."

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

My dad loves his lawn.

"And do you promise never to fight over the thermostat setting?"

'When he finally exhausts his vocabularly that's when I call the plumber.'

"Your Father's been in my bad books since I discovered he was turning his hearing aid off whenever I yelled at him!"

"Ah the sound of the first lawn mower"