Domestic Environments Gifts

Depp V Heard

Dog Walking Services

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"I don't do windows."

Ironing day.

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"We've decided to live together."

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

Having installed a hydraulically operated wall in their 25-year-old's bedroom...

Tortoise polishing his shell

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

Search for Missing Socks

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

Living together, couple in love.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

Pollsters

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"