Domestic Comfort Gifts

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

“Can I have her now? Hey! My turn.”

"You're never home."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Contented man and cat sleeping

Unicorn Working From Home

"He's an indoor cat."

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"I was just telling a fellow today what a good rabbit dog you are."

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

Working from Home.

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

"I see a couch."

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

E-Z Livin'

'Now I know why they called this airco model 'Marilyn Monroe'.'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Watching telly

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

I wanted to holiday at home...But in Spain.

"C'mere, space heater."

"I like this one, it looks lived in."

"I'm no longer cleaning my whole apartment. . . Just the 'Zoom Zone.'"

"Did you pack the Vermont maple syrup?"

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

'Isn't it great?!'