Domestic Duelist Gifts

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Project Manager Showdown

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

Wild West Text Showdown

Through the Looking Glass - Alice Rows the Sheep.

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

"They've decided to resolve the department's conflicting educational philosophies."

Romance over the Irons

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

'Almost done.'

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

'The Position's yours, Henderson - But first you must defeat our champion.'

'...My tree! - No my tree!!'

Chefs about to duel with custard pies

Political correctness - the early years

Cambridge Dons disagree about the meaning of life.

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

'You want a piece of me?'

"You did have the last word, but this is a new argument!"

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

'I don't believe I've ever seen a scientific paper defended quite as vigorously as this one!'

'You have a comfortable home, three beautiful children, a husband who is devoted to you - what could you possibly want with nuclear capability?'

I know you're keen to practise the new salsa routine, but I'm getting a bit jealous of the vacuum.

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 8