Dogless Detective Gifts

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'So who needs sonar?!'

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

Fido and Fifi

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

"Now how did she know?"

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'Where my balls go?'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"