Doggy Doctor Dramas Gifts

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

"Another slander suit!"

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Fido and Fifi

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Self-Employment

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Termites!'

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Nonsense, Melvin! Who ever heard of a tapeworm that big?'

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

Ice Cream Lover

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

"I think the dog swallowed the remote!"

"Can you play something the neighbor's dog doesn't know?"

I assume obedience class was a washout then.

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

'Strangest turtle I ever saw!'

'It didn't start out this way.'

"And if this prescription doesn't work, see if you can get someone to rub your belly. That always make me feel better."

Man accidentally hooks a dog while casting his fishing line.

"I strongly suggest that you reinvent yourself!"

'Look, I don't know what repulsive smelly thing I just ate, but I know what I like.'

'I bit them and ran!' 'While the Doberman was giving them trouble,I bolted!'

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."