Doggy Dinner Planner Gifts

"I need some assistance here."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Dogs

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."

'May I recommend the unlimited slop trough?'

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"That's the last time I invite the boys round..."

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

'How does pizza for dinner sound to you?'

Redneck Relative Thanksgiving

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

'I wish somebody would invent the TABLE!'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'