Doggy Dinner Planner Pillows

"I need some assistance here."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

Dogs

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

The ecumenical dinner party.

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'May I recommend the unlimited slop trough?'

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'How does pizza for dinner sound to you?'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"That's the last time I invite the boys round..."

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

'I wish somebody would invent the TABLE!'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

'Anything else, Sir?'