Doggy Dilemmas Gifts

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

Poonami

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Canine conundrum.

Too Much Coffee Man

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

Sun. Rain.

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

"How can you just sit there, wrapped in your own safe little world, when you know there are millions of squirrels out there?"

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

"These are the care instructions. And if things don't work out, there's a recipe on the back."

'I think your doctor gave you the wrong note, Sir. We don't have any bread and milk.'

"He chews his nails, his pencils, his glasses... and I get scolded for chewing his shoes!"

'Sammy's going to take you for a little walk.'

"Should we raise him to succeed by nurturing him, or neglect him so severely that he finds success as a megalomaniacal sociopath?"

"Are you trying to get me nicked."

"I should've never taught you to shake."

"I know I said my dog had no teeth, mister- but that's not my dog!"

Dog fetching smelly slippers.

"Don't pretend it's a pet, you're just too mean to buy an alarm clock!"

'I don't need to go on a diet. All I need is a bigger pair of pants.'

'Wait...Sir...It's customary to pay for services when rendered!'

'That's $10.00 for Ben's physical, $7.50 for the rabies shot, $22.50 for the pants, $14.95 for the shirt...'

Cat laughing at dog having to go outside in the rain to go to the toilet.

'I know I said, 'my dog doesn't bite'...he's not my dog!'

"Please feel free to regift it."

'A catered affair?! You're going to cheat on me and your diet?!'

Choices that face a dog.

'I'm sorry Roland, I'm starving and I'll have to have to eat you...sniff. Roland would have loved those bones.'