Doggy Dieters Gifts

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

Woman and sport trainer

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

'You're going to go on a diet.'

Dog Food Groups

'Nothing but veggies...we gotta learn to read.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I've started this new 'Detox' diet - no caffeine or alcohol...no processed foods...

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

"I start my diets with the best intentions, but when I see these legs and feet splashing around I go crazy!"

Cream tea...without the cream,butter or jam and no milk with the tea!

'Weight loss can cause liver damage...'

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

"I think that new dog food gives him gas!"

Parping dog.

No caption. (Dog delivery man delivers a box labeled "Scraps" to dog customer.)

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

Man reading dog food can: Contains beef and beef by-products.

"I've been standing here all day, but there's no change!"

"Frankly, I'm pretty satisfied with my diet."

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.

"This Subway Diet is way better than that Atkins nonsense."

"Not only do these new treats taste like table scraps, they're also good for you."

"I told you it was a waste of time, it's a vegan home."

"I must not eat pies off the path, I must not eat pies off the path..."

"Do you mind if I have my dinner at Dave's? His wife isn't on a diet."

'This is especially rough on me -- I'm a compulsive eater.'