Doggie Dietitians Gifts

"I think that new dog food gives him gas!"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

Dog Food

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

The Catkins Diet

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'You reach an age where shredded homework is a lot easier to digest.'

Paleo-to-go

Clancy: Diets

Life in a food desert.

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

"I don't want to bust your diet so we're having turkey franks and pumpkin yogurt."

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

Dog Food Groups

'Nothing but veggies...we gotta learn to read.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

No caption. (Dog delivery man delivers a box labeled "Scraps" to dog customer.)

"This makes a nice change from 'Fetch'!"

Parping dog.