Doggie Dietician Gifts

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Man reading dog food can: Contains beef and beef by-products.

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

Dog Food

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

The Catkins Diet

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

'You reach an age where shredded homework is a lot easier to digest.'

Paleo-to-go

"No, I said 'sit'."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

"Worms."

"He still isn't paper trained, but I got him rug trained."

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

Clancy: Diets

Life in a food desert.

Dog Food Groups

'Nothing but veggies...we gotta learn to read.'

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

Parping dog.

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

"I think that new dog food gives him gas!"