Doggie Diner Fan Gifts

"Hmm, let's see. We just want something light. Not too filling."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"What did Jesus order?"

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

"How about a little more coffee?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

Dog's Sandwich

"Kate! Long time, no sniff!"

"We think it sort of brightens up the breakfast."

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

"I won't need a doggie bag."

"Bring me a bottle of chardonnay and one long straw."

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

'Don't keep going on about your cold paws - I've got my own problem!'

"Hey, Merle, table 8 wants ham and eggs. . . Errr. . . chocolate!"

'Red meat is bad for you.' 'No, red meat is not bad for me. Green meat is bad for me!'

Diner. We'll have a hamburger and a veggie burger, please. Two burgers -- One regular and one de-calf.

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

'We're all out of socks, - how about a nice slipper instead?'

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

'She even lies about her dog's age!'

"Anything, really. There's almost nothing I won't eat."

"The Internet is down, so I got bored. They'll understand."

'I'll have a dozen custard pies as well, please!'