Doggie Bill Expert T-Shirts

'It will cost $1000 to spay your dog, Ma'am, but call me again tomorrow at my office....

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

"I charge by the grain."

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

Dog Park. Ernie, let me help you navigate the dog park safely. Thanks. Never ask the dalmatian if you can play "Connect the Dots." Don't discuss international politics with the Siberian Husky, or make jokes around the Greyhound. The Saint Bernard does not find it funny if you ask for his blessing. And most importantly, unless you schedule is clear for a week ... yeah? Don't say "yes" when the Lab asks you to play with that ball with him!

"What happened to what cat?"

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

'You reach an age where shredded homework is a lot easier to digest.'

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"Let's try it again. This time with a tad less mania."

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

Chiropractor and Veterinarian.

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"And if this prescription doesn't work, see if you can get someone to rub your belly. That always make me feel better."

Dog makes a bank deposit.

Rockwell School

"I always add a few breath mints to his food."

'Doctor Fenwick is busy with a patient. May I take a message, please?'

"Penny for your thoughts? I'm a solicitor, it'll cost you five hundred!"

'Remove your clothes and your check book.'

'Trust me kid: You never really know if you have a good master until you stop being cute...'

"I'm no mongrel, I'm a labro-doodle-collie-whippet!"

"Oh, Fifi's 'purebred', if you catch my drift. . ."

"Please feel free to regift it."

'Muffy and I are here for the 'Speed Obedience' course...!'