Dog Treat Detective Gifts

'I'm not buying Rex anymore rawhide chews - they don't last him five minutes!'

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

Fido and Fifi

"Now how did she know?"

'Where my balls go?'

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'