Dog Skeptic Gifts

'There's probably no dog.'

"When I said you could write a paper for extra credit, I was open to almost anything...and then you handed in 'Fifty Millon Cajillion Ways I Hate Dogs'."

Cat lover responding to dog like a cat.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'The dog doesn't like fishing so I'm taking the cat.'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"The human is back - act normal."

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"This ham bone did not have much meat on it by the time I met it, but it tasted of meat, and for that I am eternally grateful."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

'Just so you know, I've no intention of sharing a home with either children or cats.'

'I like it.'

"Penny, what is that scent you have on? I must know." "Don't you just love it, Lucy? It's dead rat."

"What truth can there be, if there is only death?" "Too early for Tolstoy."

"The question should be, do PEOPLE go to heaven?"

Doggy Peer Pressure

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

'For you, the meaning of life is 'eat, play, sleep'.'