Dog Person With A Twist Gifts

Why the city's string of cat burglaries remains unsolved.

Honest Harry's Last Chance Pet Adoption...

'So you like the sweater? It's my own design and I knitted it myself using my sister Shirley!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"More documents to shred? I feel I have more to offer this company than sharp claws."

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Balloon dog poos.

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Gym Dog

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

Man and dog on exercise bikes.

Dog phrenology

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.