Dog Person In Denial Gifts

"I'm not a dog person - I'm just a guy with a dog."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"More documents to shred? I feel I have more to offer this company than sharp claws."

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Balloon dog poos.

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

Man and dog on exercise bikes.

Dog phrenology

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

Word on the street is that he's self-domesticated.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

A day in the life of a dog.

"More please."

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'

I only built the moat to keep the cats out.

Cat versus Dog.

Rats cutting loose a dog so it can chase a cat.

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'